Getting It Up

So now they're saying that Viagra and other remedies for erectile dysfunction can cause blindness??? That reminds me of the old joke about masturbation -- "I'll just do it until I need glasses." Hee. But seriously, folks. While it certainly distresses me that anyone would have to suffer such a fate, I (cockeyed optimist that I am) can't help seeing a bright side. MAYBE NOW THEY'LL STOP RUNNING THOSE OBNOXIOUS ADS.

Yeah, I really hate them. The ones for Cialis remind me of those "Ladies' Man" sketches on SNL, with the low-down music and the smugly insinuating voiceover. Their worst one isn't running anymore; I think it was taken off the air by public demand. It said something like, "Remember that guy who used to follow you around the house all the time, and hump your leg while you tried to do the housework? He's baaa--ack!" (I'd talk back to that one: "Oh really? We'll be waiting for him, me and my friends Smith and Wesson.") But the other ED drug ads are also annoying. The guy walking through the office and everybody's saying he looks better -- "Did you get a haircut? New suit?" -- and it's because he finally got laid. Charming.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not knocking sex among oldsters; you may have noticed I'm no spring chicken myself. And at the risk of TMI, let me tell you -- Oh never mind, it is TMI. Okay. Suffice it to say my problem is not with the act, or even with the drug; just with the way they try to sell it. And there are better ways. Whoever thought up Levitra couches is a genius.

News of such a dire side effect won't necessarily cause the drugs to be taken off the market. They'll probably even still be advertised, but the ads will treat the product more soberly -- as a medicine rather than a recreational drug. Or in other words -- goodbye leering horndog; hello seeing-eye dog.