"Designed To Sell -- 1970s Edition"

I'd hate to tell you how many hours of HGTV's "Designed To Sell" Young'un and I have watched. We love that show, and watch it every night at 11:00 whether it's a rerun or not. In case you've never seen it, the show begins with the host and a real-estate expert walking through a house that's for sale, and the real-estate expert critiques the features of the house. The DTS team -- a designer, two carpenters, and the host -- will then come in and help the homeowners fix the problem areas and accentuate the selling features. The team has a $2,000 budget which the designer has to work within.

Well, Young'un and I have seen enough of these shows to know what kind of things give the real-estate expert the horrors, and the most often used pejorative is "dated" -- pronounced "DAAAAAAY-ted!" It occurred to us that all of these nausea-inducing decorative features were once the last word in modern design. With this in mind, we came up with a few things you'd be sure to hear on the 1970s edition of "Designed To Sell" -- featuring real-estate expert Bertha Freeman, designer Louisa LaPorta, and a generous $500 budget.

"We'll open up the space by covering this whole wall with gold-veined mirror tiles!"

"Bertha called the bathroom 'dark and dingy'. We're going to build you a beautiful and stylish light box to brighten it up!"

"We're giving the kitchen a makeover, complete with a modern butcher-block counter!"

"We'll bring the appliances up to date by covering them with this wood-grain contact paper!"

"Bertha said the bare wood floor in the bedroom was depressing. We're going to cover it with luxurious wall-to-wall sculptured shag carpeting!"

"We'll create an inviting conversation pit in your living room with this generously oversized, versatile modular sofa!"

Yes, I definitely would've watched that show -- unless it was scheduled opposite "Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In", of course. ;-)

We danced the night away!

Firstborn is officially married, and what a marvelous time was had by all! This was my first Jewish wedding, and I loved it. There was much ritual and ceremony, some of it stately and solumn but mostly lively, raucous, and vibrant. I'll go into more detail later, but I think my favorite moment was when Firstborn and his bride saw each other for the first time that day -- minutes before the ceremony. Her mother and I had just broken a plate together down in the room where the men had been meeting, and we then hurried upstairs to where the bride sat in a throne-like chair. We hurriedly got into place on either side of her as a herd of well-dressed men stampeded, yelling, up the stairs behind us! They brought Firstborn to see his bride, and to veil her -- to make sure he would be marrying the woman he expected to marry, according to tradition. When he saw her in that chair, in her beautiful gown, a vision of loveliness, and her face lit up when she saw him -- well, that was the first moment when tears filled my eyes.

As the ceremony began, his grandfather, uncle, cousin, sisters, and brother walked in one by one. Then Husband and I on either side of him walked Firstborn up the aisle, up the stairs, and under the canopy. The flower girls came down the aisle -- another triumph for Adorable Granddaughter! She and the bride's niece did a fabulous job strewing petals on the white runner, and went right up the steps and dumped the rest of the petals under the canopy! Then the curtains at the other end of the room parted, and there stood my beautiful daughter-in-law. Her parents walked her up the aisle. Under the canopy, she walked around Firstborn 7 times, with her mother and me carrying her train. Then we moms stepped out from under the canopy, and it became her and Firstborn's first "house", where they separated from their parents and became a family. That was the second time I teared up.

And afterward -- oh man, what a party! Our deejay was Sarah Lewitinn, "ultragrrrl" of Spin magazine and VH1 fame, an old friend of Firstborn's. The first set of dancing was traditional, men with men and women with women. Lively! Fast! Ladies spinning in circles around the bride, men pulling Firstborn in their circles with them! Me with the women, Young'un with the men! Then the newlyweds lifted high on chairs! After that, a wonderful dinner; then more dancing to the usual lively wedding-reception fare. I danced all evening, as did our children and grandchildren. Stepdaughter's two had a ball with the other children there, running in a pack as little kids always do at these affairs. I had a couple of lovely dances with Husband, and also with my dear Firstborn. What a night! The staff were stacking up the chairs and rolling up the tables, and still we all hung out together; family, Chicago friends, New York friends -- sitting on the dance floor talking for a long time.

This morning I'm feeling the night of dancing, especially in my knees (but my feet are fine, thanks to those Hush Puppies pumps! LOL). We'll be checking out of the hotel soon, and heading home. I'll have pictures to post too! For now, I'll just say that yesterday was the best Mother's Day I ever had in my life.